Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Line Out - V.2

The second version of finished pencils for my storytelling class. Enjoy!

1 comment:

  1. Nice! I think they're definitely an improvement over the previous edition. I like how clear the first two pages are on what's happening. Makes much more sense. Some nice shots and layouts here!

    I only have two comments:

    a. I think the 3rd page and Carter revealing the C4 warrants a reaction shot from Kara - could be the first panel of the next page, and compress that 3 panel jump-n-close into 2 panels. I kind of want to see her emotional reaction to Carter's sacrifice visually.

    b. Page 2, panel 3, you're flipping the 180 degree rule on the soldier, so it feels like he's not actually firing at the characters, who begin in panel 2 on the left, but then he fires off to his right. Consider just mirroring that shot. I don't think you'd have a problem with the resulting 180 from panel 3 to 4, because that could imply a bit of a time lapse, which would explain the distance traveled by Carter and Kara, as well as imply some shooting going on between the panels.

    Great work man, you're improving at light speed!