tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531380627699390096.post2202180331747095617..comments2023-03-23T20:11:01.603-04:00Comments on Paper Heart Ink Blood: Line Out - V.2Eryk Donovanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16176846517581824531noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531380627699390096.post-42367787208529740792012-10-17T19:06:15.026-04:002012-10-17T19:06:15.026-04:00Nice! I think they're definitely an improveme...Nice! I think they're definitely an improvement over the previous edition. I like how clear the first two pages are on what's happening. Makes much more sense. Some nice shots and layouts here!<br /><br />I only have two comments:<br /><br />a. I think the 3rd page and Carter revealing the C4 warrants a reaction shot from Kara - could be the first panel of the next page, and compress that 3 panel jump-n-close into 2 panels. I kind of want to see her emotional reaction to Carter's sacrifice visually.<br /><br />b. Page 2, panel 3, you're flipping the 180 degree rule on the soldier, so it feels like he's not actually firing at the characters, who begin in panel 2 on the left, but then he fires off to his right. Consider just mirroring that shot. I don't think you'd have a problem with the resulting 180 from panel 3 to 4, because that could imply a bit of a time lapse, which would explain the distance traveled by Carter and Kara, as well as imply some shooting going on between the panels.<br /><br />Great work man, you're improving at light speed!David Balanhttp://www.davidbalan.comnoreply@blogger.com